The sense of yourself
Each moment of your life is an experience, an experience which you don't create but rather in which the sense of you arises along with everything else.
As this subtlety becomes recognized, which in itself is also just part of the experience, then in turn the experience changes qualitatively - a life experience which was constructed to feel constricted and tense becomes more spacious and relaxed as the whole happening of life (the experience) becomes witnessed rather than struggled with.
You could say that you've come to know yourself differently, and all that too is an ongoing experience in which you and your knowing yourself arise.
and peace for now
The search for Truth
The search for Truth and its relevance is paradoxical.
Because a sustained interest and contemplation around the subject of Truth reveals that there is no universal Truth that can be Known.
This does not at all make the search irrelevant, quite the opposite, this understanding undoes the human's willingness to incorrectly hold onto anything as 'Absolutely True', from here a great freedom begins to pervade the life experience because THE veil of bondage has dissolved.
Peace for now
The sweetness of being
Whenever there is a conscious dropping into Being, there is a sweetness, a slight smile may come to our face, this because in that moment there is a self evident remembering of what we are at our core.
Our sense of God is always refining
Our sense of 'God' is directly correlated to the sense we have of who we are at any moment.
As our sense of Self refines and reveals, so too does our understanding and sense of God.
God transitions from being seen, known and related to as a separate force which we as a needing human can find solace in, to the complete absence of this sense.
Our sense of Self is always refining and by default our sense of God has to also.
This because they are interdependent and not two.
Peace for now
Free space to be
When it is clearly seen that life 'happens', that the individual is not the 'doer' and that happiness is not to be found in outcomes, this automatically leads to the end of all the thinking to the contrary and there is so much free space, to Be.
Who Am I?
Keep returning to the You which remains uneffected by circumstance, rest there often until you know yourself so well that you don't forget that this peaceful untouchable Consciousness which exists before, during and after thinking is the very core of who you are.
Peace for now
The innocent heart of a child
The innocent heart of a child is open, unprotected and tender - it is fragile.
When a parent relates to a child, with anger, disdain or lack of interest, that action can have an effect similar to that of plunging that warm tender heart into an icy bucket of water.
This is what happens, and this is what has happened, and this is the core of why we feel so alone and unloved from time to time right up to this present day - it's why we are seeking love so desperately from the other and why sometimes we hate the other so much.
We became convinced that we were not loveable and we are still desperately seeking love from the other to finally prove ourselves wrong, to prove we are loveable. And all along we overlook our very natural beauty and kindness and complete lovability.
Life was interpreted that way and it stuck.
These heartbreaks turn into repressed anger and grief and can then rule our life, turning into uncomfortable feelings which lead us to the very same sort of behaviour towards others that set the root of the suffering in place.
It's sad, but it's part of this story of life.
But this tragedy can change, that's part of this story too.
Life sometimes reaches out a helping hand just as it all feels too much.
I remember reading a little exercise relating to what I've written above offered by Thich Nhat Hanh.
He asked the participant to become mindful and meditate on the hurt five year old child at the core of the anger. Hold the child in your mind's eye with compassion, tenderness and love, and your closed heart may magically burst open.
He then reminded the participant that we often see the parent as an adult, the one who hurt us, but we fail to remember that the parent too was once a five year old hurt by the anger or neglect of others.
If we can hold the parent in our mind's eye as the hurt five year old with compassion, tenderness and love then our heart may burst open even further.
The anger and sadness is transformed into compassion and understanding and a totally new relationship takes its place. The energy can be liberated once and for all.
Hopefully life is offering you everything you need just in the right doses and providing the impetuous to take up the helping hand just when its needed.
Peace for now
This is why a content life is possible
If the effortless capacity to fall back into the core of your Being is there you'll know directly that it's quite mysterious.
Resting there doesn't tell us 'what' we are or 'where' we came from, it doesn't give us lots of answers, in fact quite the contrary.
It does however confirm directly that the very nature of our essence is peacful and self content.
Peaceful and content not because of things or circumstance but rather because that is the very nature of our core. A causeless contentment we could say.
This essence we're speaking of is absent of the sense of lack, absent of the sense of uncomfortableness with oneself, and absent of the sense of needing to get somewhere or achieve something. Absent of the search for purpose, because it in itself is purposeful.
Life has shaped us to become so disconnected from our core, and it's time that this disconnection is reversed.
A re-grounding into this core is what leads to the falling away of so many thoughts and feelings which run contrary to peace of mind.
When this veil of thoughts and feelings dissolve it's the beginning of experiencing life infused with the very attribute of what is at our core - peacefulness and contentment.
If you feel inclined, close your eyes and notice that in practical terms the external world has vanished, that for just a few minutes at least there are no problems to solve now.
Over time as you visit this formless place where no problems need to be solved and you rest in your inner landscape, see if there is a growing capacity to fall back into yourself, beneath the layer of thoughts and feelings, where you can soak in the mystery of what you are at your core.
As this familiarity grows you will find yourself inclined to visit this home more and more frequently until such time as you can live daily life without ever leaving.
Peace for now
When insight strikes
Some years back, at about 10 a.m. on a spring Sunday morning a sweet young couple knocked on my door - they were Jehovah's Witnesses doing their weekend rounds.
I enjoy listening to how people see life and how they think so I happily invited them in for a chat.
John did most of the speaking, bible in hand, and April mostly listened and occasionally added bits here and there to support John's points.
After listening for about fifteen minutes it seemed pertinent for me to interject with what I'd hoped would be a 'centering' or 'focussing' comment, especially given the conversation to that point was steeped in doctrine, dogma and esotericism.
"Let's keep things practical" I suggested, "what is it that you are really looking for in life? What is it that will truly satisfy?"
John's answer didn't surprise me, it was completely understandable.
He explained that he wanted to spread Jesus' words faithfully, and if he did, he is promised a place in heaven after death. Heaven being a place we can't even begin to comprehend, where unfathomable gifts would be bestowed on us. And, if he didn't then all that would be foregone.
His response quite obviously stems from a common concept emphasised in many religions.
And as many of you have heard me say 'humans have a habit of turning concepts (even relatively useful ones) into hindering beliefs'.
Just sometimes however, something really beautiful happens, a belief, even if deeply ingrained, can get popped in an instant when life delivers just the right blow.
So back to the story...
I replied to his answer saying "that sounds like a way of living where you are waiting for something in the future, always doing things with an expectation"
"And isn't that quite contrary to the simple wisdom we all know intuitively about what a happy life is really about?"
As if I hadn't said anything at all, without missing a beat he carried on his initial track, continuing to flick to sections in his Bible, announcing the name of the scripture and paragraph numbers to support what he was saying.
April on the other hand stood there, no longer following what John was saying, the penny had dropped. She didn't say anything, she didn't need to, the look on her face said it all.
When it comes to wisdom, it's often not about getting answers, but more about questions falling away
In complete despair with his life, a man points the index and middle fingers on each hand to either side of his head, thumbs pointing upwards and the other two fingers bent inwards, tips touching palms.
He's now paralyzed, consumed even further than before, agonising over which trigger to pull.
Become sure of what you're looking for and in what form it's availble
We've been looking for meaning outwardly for a lifetime and until it becomes obvious that it's not to be found there we will keep seeking in the same manner and that in itself is the obstacle to what we are seeking.
It is akin to diligently trying to catch a ferry by waiting at a bus stop.
It's all acceptable
Life starts feeling acceptable when the internal commentary about life's unacceptability ceases.
So, is life really, fundamentally, unacceptable, or is it all in our attitudinal commentary?
It's worth thinking about.
We assume that our expectations of ourselves are what will get our castle built and make us better people, right?
And without realising it these expectations may just be the bars of a prison in which we now live, a prison from in which we feel compelled to set-up more and more expectations in order to finally get our castle.
A prison of expectation in which we slowly but surely become bitter and trapped.
Try relaxing and being who you are in this moment without believing the long list of should and should not's, without believing you are not enough right now and see the walls come effortlessly crumbling down, revealing a castle that never needed to be built.
And if after this momentary freedom sets in, you find yourself picking up your expectations again and reconstructing the prison, then understand that this is normal, it's a habit, so come back regularly to your castle when ever you remember until one day you know to stay there.
What is being spoken about here is an attitude you can move through the day with, it is not suggesting to stop living, it's actually a suggestion of living happily, free of attitudinal suffering.
And it's available right now, just stop.
Peace for now
The sperm and the egg
We just need to look at our thought patterns to realise that there is a mismatch between what's locked away in our psychology and what's actually happening on the level of life mechanics.
Each person in each moment is exactly one way, and that is just the way that life has shaped them to be, a process which is much less personal, in other words much less a result of a "me controlling entity", than is appreciated.
At some very special point the sperm and egg came together! They formed a single organism which grows according to a magnificently wondrous encoded blueprint (Genes).
The growing doesn't happen because of "you" "doing it", rather it happens inspite of you, in fact you are the result.
As the organism grows it is simultaneously impacted by the environment in which it finds itself in and this continuous stream of stimuli (new conditioning) becomes part and parcel of the growing process (Genes and Up-to-date Conditioning).
At a certain point the heart, which is a result of the impersonal growth process, starts pumping, and then the brain starts functioning and so on, all according to the organisms design and growth.
We couldn't possibly expect it to function differently to its design, right? We'd hardly expect the toaster to wash the dishes!
This growing process doesn't stop, humans are always growing and being shaped by life, a movement that is far less personal than it's given credit for.
At some momentus point that impersonal process ingrained the notion that we, the person, that has been grown and continues to grow, is somehow in control of what we grow into and therefore how we subsequently function moment after moment. This is the opposite of clarity.
We project this view onto the other and from there we are forced to live with the load of blame and guilt, hatred and shame. Whereas, more accurately seen, each person is rolling exactly according to cosmic law, life is happening and so hatred towards the other for what has happened through them, and shame towards oneself has no ground with clarity in place.
Now, I'm not suggesting that with intention we can't see positive change happen, life is all about change, what I am suggesting is that if an intention to change arises then that too is a happening according to your mysterious design - not "your (as a separate doer)" doing.
Understanding this not only brings about much more rapid positive change, but more importantly brings about an automatic and effortless attitude of acceptance towards oneself and the other, towards life.
Ironically, the change we are really looking for in life - peace of mind, comes about through being surrendered and not through "personal" effort.
Surrendering is obstructed through the persistence of a false belief which projects into existence a non-existant entity "I the doer" & "the other the doer".
Seeing things with a bit more clarity, Why not? It doesn't always mean what you would think.
So, if by now your psychology is finding all sorts of arguments with what I've written above, then just go back to the description of the sperm and the egg and see if you find a good flaw.
And if your psychology isn't resisting the above description then I'm sure there is a gratitude to life for delivering clarity.
Peace for now
The prospect of death
If life becomes about what you haven't quite got yet, or what may be delivered or attained in the future, then the prospect of death and dying is always going to be a point of contention.
Makes sense, no?
More than rhetoric
We are all in this together.
And we are all doing our best.
The deeper this is known,
The more it will affect our world in ways Beyond our current imagination.
This may sound like idealistic rhetoric
But what if it is much more than that.
Peace for now
All it takes is a little reminder.
It can happen anytime, in an instant, the holy instant.
Stop N' Drop
Stop (thinking of how it could've or should be), and Drop (into Being).
There you are, it's all OK.
Peace for now
The juicer produces juice
Whenever there is an ongoing mental narrative running about how another person behaved and how they should have, and could have, behaved differently, it is effectively the equivalent of beinging disgusted towards the kitchen juicer for not producing a nice block of chocolate.
Juice may not be what we would like, fair enough, but it makes sense that juice was produced and not chocolate, right?
And even if juice is not what we would like, expecting a juicer to produce chocolate or a heater to wash the dishes, equates to a fundamental misunderstanding about the nature of things.
This type of misunderstanding of the nature of things ultimately feeds back as a misunderstanding of Self. And that's why that psychological movement when it happens manifests as a cumulative uncomfortableness with oneself and the other, ultimately an uncomfortableness with oneself.
And if this psychological resistance and uncomfortableness happens from time to time, well, it's just the juicer producing juice, no?
Relax, life is happening, trump is trumping, roger is doing his thing and everyone else is right on cue.
Your peace and happiness is never to be found in outcomes so recognising the above is not as bad as it may seem, much better than expected in fact.
Peace for now
There is a gear, which for a long time is not known to exist, which when shifted into allows life as it is, to be acceptable and fulfilling.
Only if you feel like it
This is how you SHOULD live life:
"In each moment do exactly what you think or feel to do."
Actually, the above is not really a 'prescription' of how to live life but rather a 'description' of how life is always being lived by every single person, or maybe it's more accurate to say, how each person is 'being lived' in each moment.
We are all, always living according to what we think or feel to do next.
It's worth a little investigation I think. And that contemplation will only happen if you think it's worthwhile, or you think you should, or you feel like it.
Peace for now
Anger and sadness
Hi Roger, I'm trying to remember what Ramesh said about anger : that it is a biological reaction and not an emotion, or something like that?
Reply: He said pure anger is a biological reaction and not a psychological reaction.
However, if the belief in personal doership and attachment are ingrained in the system it's almost certain that when anger arises due to a particular circumstance the additional load of guilt, blame and expectation will inevitably arise with it, and so our experience of anger is rarely if ever of pure anger on its own but rather anger wrapped in suffering, and because the suffering is all pervasive it's then very hard for us to understand from our own experience that the pure anger at the centre is actually just a biological reaction and is not a form of suffering.
This conceptual elaboration if used as a pointer or guide can help bring attention on to the mix of anger and suffering when it arises and maybe the distinction will start to become evident thanks in part to the explanation.
The same can be said for sadness. Pure sadness is a biological reaction and not psychological or suffering. However if the ingrained beliefs are in the system sadness will be accompanied by grief, it then has a bitterness to it. The grief arises because the beliefs assume that what was lost, taken away or not delivered which made us biologically sad are actually essential to our completeness (which they are not).
Biological reactions arise and fall quickly, they can be said to be vertical in time, suffering lingers and could be said to stretch out horizontally in time, sometimes for years and years.
I hope this helps.
Peace for now
The flow of life
Acknowledge deeply for yourself that the flow of life is always an ebb and flow of pleasure and pain. Someone helps you out: pleasure. Someone let's you down: pain. It is often our actions or the actions of the other which form part of the flow of outcomes which is the flow of pleasure or pain.
Once this has become undeniably registered as the nature of the flow of life, pleasure sometimes and pain at others, then the psychological error which unrealistically wants and expects life to be pleasure, pleasure, pleasure will have begun to dissolve and that has to mean that the psychological suffering which stems from that error is being effected.
The above insight about recognising the nature of the flow of life as inevitably both pleasurable outcomes and painful outcomes is one example of 'seeing things as they are' or 'being with what is'.
The flow of life is always going to be pleasure at sometimes and pain at others. Try as you will, you can't change this indefinitely.
Peace of mind, which is what human happiness turns out to be, is not dependent on outcomes but rather on your attitude to outcomes.
Peace for now
Abide in I Am
Abiding in I Am is a recognition of our unbroken connection to Source.
In time, the end of suffering will be the norm.
The good , the bad, and the ugly is completely understandable
Isn't it completely understandable why people act the way they do?
It doesn't make unpleasant, pleasant or cruel acts or unfortunate outcomes any less tragic but it does make them understandable, and surprisingly maybe that's enough.
Peace for now
Happiness is the absence of unhappiness.
Defintion of 'non-duelism'
1: the not getting into an attitudinal showdown with the flow of life. 😉
Life is a happening
If the movements of the body and brain, both your movements and those of the others, are witnessed as 'happenings' rather than taken as movements we are in complete control of then we will be much closer to a peaceful experience of life.
Life is a happening, thinking is a happening. These things happen.
A worthwhile question and an even more valuable answer
Why do you feel uncomfortable with yourself?
If you find that sort of relationship within, isn't this a good question to find your own thorough and genuine first hand answer to?
Don't settle for adopted cliché answers. Be genuinely interested and curious in answering the question fully, from your own authentic enquiry allowing the sense of uncomfortableness to speak to you.
After all, you're never going to be able to get away from yourself, not really.
Can you handle the truth?
Peace for now