“Life is a dream in the
Mind of God”

Roger's  BLOG

The prospect of death

July 10, 2018
July 5, 2018

If life becomes about what you haven't quite got yet, or what may be delivered or attained in the future, then the prospect of death and dying is always going to be a point of contention.

Makes sense, no? 

More than rhetoric

July 4, 2018
July 3, 2018

We are all in this together.
And we are all doing our best.
The deeper this is known,
The more it will affect our world in ways Beyond our current imagination.
This may sound like idealistic rhetoric
But what if it is much more than that.

Peace for now


July 1, 2018
June 29, 2018

All it takes is a little reminder. 

It can happen anytime, in an instant, the holy instant.

Stop N' Drop

Stop (thinking of how it could've or should be), and Drop (into Being).

There you are, it's all OK.

Peace for now 

The juicer produces juice

July 1, 2018
June 28, 2018

Whenever there is an ongoing mental narrative running about how another person behaved and how they should have, and could have, behaved differently, it is effectively the equivalent of beinging disgusted towards the kitchen juicer for not producing a nice block of chocolate.

Juice may not be what we would like, fair enough, but it makes sense that juice was produced and not chocolate, right?

And even if juice is not what we would like, expecting a juicer to produce chocolate or a heater to wash the dishes, equates to a fundamental misunderstanding about the nature of things.

This type of misunderstanding of the nature of things ultimately feeds back as a misunderstanding of Self. And that's why that psychological movement when it happens manifests as a cumulative uncomfortableness with oneself and the other, ultimately an uncomfortableness with oneself.

And if this psychological resistance and uncomfortableness happens from time to time, well, it's just the juicer producing juice, no?

Relax, life is happening, trump is trumping, roger is doing his thing and everyone else is right on cue.

Your peace and happiness is never to be found in outcomes so recognising the above is not as bad as it may seem, much better than expected in fact.

Peace for now

Gear shifting

June 19, 2018
June 17, 2018

There is a gear, which for a long time is not known to exist, which when shifted into allows life as it is, to be acceptable and fulfilling.

Only if you feel like it

June 19, 2018
June 14, 2018

This is how you SHOULD live life:

"In each moment do exactly what you think or feel to do."

Actually, the above is not really a 'prescription' of how to live life but rather a 'description' of how life is always being lived by every single person, or maybe it's more accurate to say, how each person is 'being lived' in each moment.

We are all, always living according to what we think or feel to do next.

It's worth a little investigation I think. And that contemplation will only happen if you think it's worthwhile, or you think you should, or you feel like it.

Peace for now

Anger and sadness

July 10, 2018
June 8, 2018

Hi Roger, I'm trying to remember what Ramesh said about anger : that it is a biological reaction and not an emotion, or something like that?

Reply: He said pure anger is a biological reaction and not a psychological reaction.

However, if the belief in personal doership and attachment are ingrained in the system it's almost certain that when anger arises due to a particular circumstance the additional load of guilt, blame and expectation will inevitably arise with it, and so our experience of anger is rarely if ever of pure anger on its own but rather anger wrapped in suffering, and because the suffering is all pervasive it's then very hard for us to understand from our own experience that the pure anger at the centre is actually just a biological reaction and is not a form of suffering.

This conceptual elaboration if used as a pointer or guide can help bring attention on to the mix of anger and suffering when it arises and maybe the distinction will start to become evident thanks in part to the explanation.

The same can be said for sadness. Pure sadness is a biological reaction and not psychological or suffering. However if the ingrained beliefs are in the system sadness will be accompanied by grief, it then has a bitterness to it. The grief arises because the beliefs assume that what was lost, taken away or not delivered which made us biologically sad are actually essential to our completeness (which they are not).

Biological reactions arise and fall quickly, they can be said to be vertical in time, suffering lingers and could be said to stretch out horizontally in time, sometimes for years and years.

I hope this helps.

Peace for now 

The flow of life

June 8, 2018
June 6, 2018

Acknowledge deeply for yourself that the flow of life is always an ebb and flow of pleasure and pain. Someone helps you out: pleasure. Someone let's you down: pain. It is often our actions or the actions of the other which form part of the flow of outcomes which is the flow of pleasure or pain.

Once this has become undeniably registered as the nature of the flow of life, pleasure sometimes and pain at others, then the psychological error which unrealistically wants and expects life to be pleasure, pleasure, pleasure will have begun to dissolve and that has to mean that the psychological suffering which stems from that error is being effected.

The above insight about recognising the nature of the flow of life as inevitably both pleasurable outcomes and painful outcomes is one example of 'seeing things as they are' or 'being with what is'.

The flow of life is always going to be pleasure at sometimes and pain at others. Try as you will, you can't change this indefinitely.

Peace of mind, which is what human happiness turns out to be, is not dependent on outcomes but rather on your attitude to outcomes.

Peace for now

Abide in I Am

June 5, 2018
June 5, 2018

Abiding in I Am is a recognition of our unbroken connection to Source.

In time...

June 3, 2018
June 1, 2018

In time, the end of suffering will be the norm.

The good , the bad, and the ugly is completely understandable

May 15, 2018
May 15, 2018

Isn't it completely understandable why people act the way they do?

It doesn't make unpleasant, pleasant or cruel acts or unfortunate outcomes any less tragic but it does make them understandable, and surprisingly maybe that's enough.

Peace for now

Happiness is...

May 5, 2018
May 3, 2018

Happiness is the absence of unhappiness.

Defintion of 'non-duelism'

April 15, 2018
April 14, 2018

non•duel•ism  n.

1:   the not getting into an attitudinal showdown with the flow of life. 😉

Life is a happening

April 7, 2018
April 7, 2018

If the movements of the body and brain, both your movements and those of the others, are witnessed as 'happenings' rather than taken as movements we are in complete control of then we will be much closer to a peaceful experience of life.

Life is a happening, thinking is a happening. These things happen.

A worthwhile question and an even more valuable answer

March 23, 2018
March 23, 2018

Why do you feel uncomfortable with yourself?

If you find that sort of relationship within, isn't this a good question to find your own thorough and genuine first hand answer to?

Don't settle for adopted cliché answers. Be genuinely interested and curious in answering the question fully, from your own authentic enquiry allowing the sense of uncomfortableness to speak to you.

After all, you're never going to be able to get away from yourself, not really.
Can you handle the truth?

Peace for now

Habits just get re-enforced

March 19, 2018
March 18, 2018

It's really quite simple. We are habituated to seek meaning and contentment in outcomes and circumstance. This keeps our mind very busy and we miss the opportunity to turn inward and be quiet and still.

Meaning and contentment on a lasting basis simply can't and won't be found in outcomes and circumstance - in fact, the seeking 'out there' delivers the very opposite to meaningful.

And yet, we keep seeking outcomes because we deeply believe that's where the treasure lies - we simply don't have experiential evidence of where lasting contentment is found and so in the absence of anything better we keep seeking pleasure through outcomes and the habit persists. 

If you've understood this intellectually for yourself and you are trying to break this unhelpful habit and yet you don't unplug from news sources, social media, advertising and some circles you hang out in, you are akin to an alcoholic intending to break his addiction yet still wheeling round an alcoholic drip connected straight into his vein.

These sources just re-enforce our false belief, you need to unplug. 

A divinely orchestrated symphony

March 17, 2018
March 17, 2018

A very simple phrase at the right time can kick start a profound contemplation that days before may have seemed hardly relevant. 

The insights which filter out invariably become the basis for the next piece of the puzzle.

Additionally, life has a talent for unfolding events and circumstances which mystically conspire to reveal, highlight and confirm whatever the ruminating of the week happens to be.

I've been known to say that my experience of this process was like a magic carpet ride, a divinely orchestrated symphony, not unlike a million number combination lock being systematically opened one precise movement at a time, no hesitation, no faltering, no errors. 

"If it were up to me to direct that show, I would have messed it up on day one, I really was Being Lived."

The topic of impermanence and change is crucial for us to deepen into if a healthy relationship to the flow of life is to set in.

"No man ever steps in the same river twice."- Heraclitus

Peace for now

An unfulfilled potentiality

March 16, 2018
March 16, 2018

There is a self fulfilling potentiality - a human quality or trait - which we all possess and in general this gift remains unactualised throughout adult life.

It is simply a matter of having this quality activated and from there life takes on a completely different meaning.

This is the evolution that is happening now and will continue to happen until this trait is so well known and standard for humanity that its activation becomes a natural process in the course of an individual's development from infant to child, from child to adolescent, from adolescent to adult and from adult to death. 

The world as we know it will change radically with this trait activated.

This is our potentiality.

Peace for now

Teachings are methodology ...

March 10, 2018
March 9, 2018

... designed to bring about useful changes.

Teachings are all only a methodology designed to bring about useful changes.
A teaching directly affects the brain. 

The brain is far more powerful and mysterious than we tend to grasp or appreciate. 

If a person is told repeatedly that they are useless, a failure, unwanted and a waste of space, and if this notion gets entertained and ingrained by the person/brain then in time the brain will automatically manifest feelings so real and directly proportionate to the input, that people are driven as far as to kill themselves based on the life experience that the brain is capable of creating.

If a person is exposed repeatedly to information that says they don't exist, that the experience of the body is an illusion, that they are not a person and all is one and so on (as is the case when we find ourselves resonating with and sticking to esoteric mystical teachings) the brain will eventually oblige and generate what it has been told reality is. 

This is the phenomena which is currently being exhibited by an unprecedented number of people who are being exposed to a proliferation of top-down Advaita teachings as they are nowadays being delivered (and this phenomenon is being made visible thanks to these relatively new social media platforms which reveal so much).

This experiential shift whereby there is the sense that the person is illusory, that the world is unreal etc, is a normal progression within this particular spiritual path, and, although it has its significant drawbacks, from a bigger picture point of view it can very much be considered positive. It needs to be managed, but overall it's positive. 

This doesn't change the fact that this change - what we can refer to as a Awakening, is not actually the revelation of some Supreme Reality or Self independent of the human being, it is still a relative life experience, and to the extent the person believes they are not the person, it is a life experience that in time will prove to be what we could say was an experience of life which included delusional beliefs. 

It is quite possible for a teacher who understands the process and who has been ushered past this phase to be able to effectively put forward these pointers without themselves being stuck in the delusion. However, having said this, quite frankly, I feel that many teachers have by some mysterious game plan been held in this state to be able to deliver these teachings in the most effective fashion (this phenomenon could be what the notion of a Bodhisattva refers to as it's used in a specific context in some schools of Buddhism). There are a lot of reasons why it could be challenging even unpalatable to keep putting forward that version of "Reality" if you are no longer standing firmly on that ground. And yet, as I said earlier, it is also very possible for someone who has well and truly moved past this perspective to exclusively deliver that teaching with little interest in discussing beyond a certain point on the basis that it may dilute the impact.

If you find yourself in the position of someone who has been positively impacted by teachings that focus on the non-existence of a person, and are currently convinced that you are formless awareness and that the body is just an arising within what you are, that you are not a person and so on, I would not expect you to have any frame of reference to apprehend that what I'm saying is accurate, in fact I would expect quite the opposite. 

That is because until the brain starts to open up to new information such as this, the new reality is exactly that - it's new reality, and anything that says differently will very likely be deemed to "just not get it yet". This is what the brain has been programmed to create, hence experience and hence interpret and believe, so that response makes complete sense.

I speak from personal experience here. My journey included the shifts we are speaking of and the accompanying beliefs. It was only thanks to meeting Ramesh in 2005 that this standpoint was obliterated and a deeper peace and flow set in.

And what is ironic is that, because this change is intrinsically linked to revered wisdom teachings that put forward pointers to Truth or Reality, and what is unreal and illusory, and so on, when the change happens, (and the dynamic at play is not seen for what it is) the conviction that "Reality" beyond or prior to the pesky illusory person has finally been revealed as foretold in the independent teachings, is compounded. This is an understandable compounding of the delusion based on a feedback loop to the brain. 

There are many warnings and rescue mechanisms in these very teachings to deal with just this phenomenon I am speaking of. However, because the core of the teaching has been so heavily emphasised and focussed on, and because personal contact with a teacher is not as common nowadays proportionate to exposure to the teachings, these more subtle remedies can go unapplied and unnoticed for a long time. 

Let me finish by saying that when the brain produces its version of reality (which in one form or another will always be what our life experience is, until the body dies), the experience always correlates with a very particular neural network structure.

This means that when the experience changes radically then the neural network has also changed.

This particular shift in the brain that I've been speaking of, is fundamentally different to many other re-wirings which are constantly happening in the brain. This particular re-wiring is such that the experience no longer includes a strong sense of identification with objects including thoughts and the body. This change is monumentally significant as the groundwork for what potentiality lies ahead.

What I have written has only scratched the surface of this topic. What is equally important to just describing the phenomena is providing useful new descriptions that start to demonstrate that this is a phenomena addressed in many non-dual teachings themselves. And, also to provide explanations which help bridge certain gaps but still allow the beneficial aspects of the insights to remain in place and to be built on.

After all, this is a movement towards peace of mind (end of suffering) and not about something else. Without this information we can remain obsessed with the change and miss what in practice is really important. 

It is also very possible to get to the point beyond this awakening stage I've been speaking of by traversing a different path. Another path can bring about the shift without certain accompanying beliefs and if this is the case the sense of not being the person won't necessarily occur. After all, at some point this perspective of no person needs to be refined. 

What is actually often really being pointed at in the esoteric non-dual teachings is that the person is not the "doer" and not "independent" or separate from the rest of life. It is this crumbling tower of beliefs which is more the basis on which peace sets in rather than the dissolution of the person per se. However, having said this, some paths undo these beliefs by first deconstructing the sense that there is a person as a whole, and only then reintroducing the existence of form and the person but now minus the doership and attachment dynamics. 

I sometimes feel that revealing these secrets about teachings and how they work may result in a well aimed bolt of lightening striking me down. That's just a comical flash that happens sometimes, I really feel the time has come to build on what has come before, and move forward.

The human brain and the mystery of mind is, I suspect, far greater than we can imagine, the brain and mind is extremely constricted when configured in what we can call the current human condition. Critical thought is rendered unavailable. The capacity to use intellect for critical thinking is what will change life on earth. Critical thinking is not just logic based, it is tapping into the vast intelligence where answers and solutions come from outside. 

If there is sufficient interest in this post, I will continue it in the coming days. I feel that given awakening is becoming more and more prevalent this topic needs to be addressed seriously in such a way that the commentary becomes a valuable part of the ongoing movement forward. 

It is a fine line that needs to be balanced, the esoteric mystical teachings themselves that deliver these particular shifts are not necessarily the problem, in fact they should be respected and valued for the radical contributions they make. 

This is not about criticism, this is about process. 

Peace for now.

Witnessing life as a happening

March 10, 2018
March 5, 2018

As the belief in personal doership dissolves the psychological separation it creates subsides and quite naturally life becomes witnessed as a 'happening', and our underlying sense of Self shines through.

From this vantage point it's self evident that thoughts arise in a body mind organism, it becomes equally evident that emotions, feelings and actions all arise in and through a body mind organism. 

A great spaciousness and quiet sets in, and an undeniable sense of existence permeates the experience of life - a sense of existence that is known to be the core of what we are and is relaxation and peace. It's a home where uncomfortableness with oneself simply doesn't make sense.

This shift doesn't happen through effort or thought but rather through a STOP, a dropping backwards out of the head into the heart.

Peace for now

A definition of enlightenment

March 10, 2018
March 3, 2018

According to this teaching, the definition of enlightenment is as follows:

Enlightenment is the end of suffering, or in other words, unwavering peace of mind in daily living regardless of the circumstance we find ourself in, and this peace of mind comes with the stabilised recognition of our unbroken connection to Source. 

Peace for now

Keep it real

March 10, 2018
March 2, 2018

Keep it real, in all truth you aren't really looking for bliss, oneness or supreme reality. We are all intuitively driven towards a life with less suffering, that is what is really being sought - the end of suffering.

Be clear on this point, try not to get lost and lose sight of this. 

Remain open in your questioning of where and how this can be delivered, seek guidance from wherever you find it comes most truly. 

You will see that once this realisation sinks in based on your own admission, based on your own experience, this piece of information will become a great acquisition in the movement towards what is really, whether you realise it or not, being sought.

Peace for now

Level of change

February 21, 2018
February 21, 2018

The changes which happen in this journey towards inner freedom, all happen on the level of the body&brain.

Life doesn't have to be a competition

February 13, 2018
February 13, 2018

My grandmother, Elina Castillo, died last night, she was 94.

The last time I saw her was in her nursing home room, she had dementia and didn't remember who I was. We sat together, she would intermittently recite rhymes she'd make up, much like an innocent little girl entertaining herself. Every now and then we would say something brief to each other, and then she would go back to choosing which sweet or biscuit to have next, place a jigsaw piece in place, or just carry on rhyming.

I had brought an overfilled bread roll with me as I hadn't eaten lunch, my aunt was also in the room and while she was arranging a few things I started to eat the roll. As I took a bite I caught a glimpse of my grandmother looking at me, puzzled, wondering who this man was, eating in her room. In that moment I realised I was a complete stranger to her and yet I didn't sense anything from her other than an innocent curiosity. 

When the time came, I said I was leaving and that it was very nice to have spent time with her (it really had been, she was a very sweet and kind hearted lady, and although we hadn't talked much I could very much feel her heart). 

Ever since I was a young child I knew her as kind hearted. Both toward me as a grandmother and she spent many years routinely walking around the capital city of Malta visiting shops and collecting donations for the underprivileged. She received an official national recognition for her work and dedication to helping others who were less fortunate. 

Anyhow, as I said goodbye (remember, I was essentially a stranger to her) she looked me in the eyes and with a soft conviction that I had never felt from anyone before said "may God bless you".

She meant it from the bottom of her heart - may God bless you - in that moment I felt first hand that she really, truly wanted the very best for Roger, even if it were going to be at her expense, and even though she didn't know me. 

In a life where we tend to develop such that we relate to the other as a competitor, rival or even an enemy it is difficult to genuinely feel this attitude of wanting the very best for someone else.

This final interaction struck me because what I felt was not a mere intellectual wish, but rather a true facet of our human potential which so often gets obscured by our attitude to life, and yet in this kind hearted old lady was natural and free flowing, AND palpable. 

It was clear that this natural essence wasn't only a gift to me but was also a gift that in giving, she was receiving herself.

Thank you for looking after me when I was young and thank you for leaving me with this parting gift. 

My heart and thoughts go out to my father Adrian and my aunt Christine - she's gone home and is in peace.

Bitter fruits

February 13, 2018
February 12, 2018

Compare yourself to others - it's so fruitful 😂.

Happy neural networking

February 12, 2018
February 11, 2018

The concept of genes and up-to-date conditioning is in large part pointing to the structure of your neural network (I mean the brain as a whole) at any given moment. 

We react and respond to circumstances based on the particulars of the circumstance and our genes and up-to-date conditioning in that moment. A deep understanding of this implies we could only ever have functioned the way we did. 

Your neural network is continually changing as a result of new environmental conditioning.

Your experience of life is dictated to by your neural network in each moment. 

Any thoughts or reactions are a by-product of your neural network. 

Maybe that makes it easier to see how you, and everybody else, are not the "doers" (given we don't control the neural network and how it changes). 

All suffering stands on the belief in doership and attachment to outcomes, these beliefs if they exist are part and parcel of your neural network.

As well as being a description of your neural network genes and up-to-date conditioning also points to your hair and eye colour, build and skin type, blood type and susceptible to cancer or heart disease etc, but by far the most important aspect to recognise it pointing to is the neural network (I mean the brain as a whole).

Any shifts in perception or even what is called witnessing, or prior to witnessing, I-Am-ness is also a result of a change in the neural network. When you look at what changes in this process, it is always change on the level of the body/mind. Because the shifts seem to be out of a certain type of thinking, it can appear that the shift was not anything to do with the body, but on closer assessment of what caused the change we will find that life delivered new conditioning and that changed the brain which changed the experience. Even a spontaneous shift that seems to be unexplainable is probably just a shift in the neural wiring.

Happy neural networking for now

A trail to follow >>> check it out

February 9, 2018
February 9, 2018

If there is a prevailing sense of uncomfortableness with yourself or the other, or with life (ultimately all an uncomfortableness with yourself) then upon honest reflection you will be forced to conclude "I am not happy".

If the prevailing sense of uncomfortableness is absent then upon reflection you will know your happiness.

Happiness and peace of mind are synonymous with each other. Peace of mind is the absence of an uncomfortableness with yourself (suffering).

If from time to time attention moves inward and you 'feel', you'll find that the words 'uncomfortableness with yourself' is a spot on descriptor of the sense that disturbs happiness.

These pointers are not intended for you to form an expectation over, or to measure yourself against and feel shame or pride (although this can all too easily happen), if this happens then it is just more uncomfortableness arising in the moment.

These pointers, if you feel so inclined, are here to be used as guides. They are descriptions of things to look at - aspects of the life experience to land on, feel and contemplate. 

If this happens there will be a verification of the concepts for yourself based on your own daily life experience - this is super important. Real change will not happen unless this investigation for yourself happens.

Each time these concepts are verified for yourself based on your own investigation in your own daily life, the understanding goes deeper and deeper. 

It shifts from what it started off as (an intellectual understanding) to a deeper clarity of your own, no longer merely the intellectual grasp of what a concept is stating. In this process a whole lot of misunderstanding which is the basis of the uncomfortableness gets uprooted.

If from time to time attention moves inward and you 'feel', you'll find that the words 'uncomfortableness with yourself' is a spot on descriptor of the sense that disturbs happiness.

Peace for now

You're free to do what you want

February 6, 2018
February 5, 2018

If you only ever do what you've been told to do you'll only ever end up where someone else wants you to be, that's why living life that way is so unsatisfying. 

Try doing what you feel like more. Start small and allow the principle to work its way into your life organically, that way fear (attachment to outcomes) won't derail the process. You might just be surprised at the effects.


Is continuous happiness available?

February 6, 2018
February 1, 2018

Continuous happiness for the human being is available.

It's not available as some form of pleasurable feeling, not as joy or bliss, or an altered state, but rather it's available as unwavering peace of mind in daily living. 

Peace of mind is more accurately described as the absence of suffering, in other words the absence of an attitudinal resistance to life which is essentially an uncomfortableness with oneself or the other. 

This resistance and uncomfortableness arises in the forms of expectation and attachment to outcomes, worry, guilt, blame and pride.

Suffering dissolves when our connection to source remains unobscured and the implications of this connection seep into the depths of our being, dissolving the ground on which suffering stand. 

Happiness turns out to be peace of mind in daily living regardless of the circumstance you find yourself in.

Peace for now

The notion that suffering can end is a concept.

February 6, 2018
January 30, 2018

We are very proficient in turning concepts into beliefs, it is a most unimpressive skill. 

Who says you are meant to be, or should be happy? Who says it is even actually available for you?

Beliefs are the very basis of expectation and expectation is a big form of suffering.